"WHY ISN'T THE AIR ON? PUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH THE BUUUUUUUUTTOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!"
That was the most frequently uttered statement during our time in Jamaica. That button on the right? That's THE button. The button to the air conditioner. A paltry little air conditioner. An air conditioner that can BARELY blow cool air, none the less condition an entire room. But that's all we had. And it was hooked into a circuit that was only complete with the door closed. So, if we opened the door, the circuit was broken, and the air turned off. Read as, there is no way to run the air conditioning while we're gone. So every time we come out of the 90+ degree 90% humidity Jamaican fire pit (aka, outside) there was basically a girl on girl wrestling match to hit that freakin' button and lay in the spot the air blew on.
That's Kathy, demonstrating how to hit the button. Kathy was also the one that always asked "Why isn't the air on?" as soon as she walked in the door. I, being Captain Obvious and all, would start to explain it. But really, all we did was immediately run to the wall and hit the button again.
Staci, lying in the cool spot... which, by the way, is also under the ceiling fan.
Our room... Staci and Kathy were on the big bed, and I took the twin. Every night I offered to switch since Staci is a light sleeper, and Kathy wanted to spoon or kick her, depending on her mood. Thank god they never took me up on it.
We decided, in the end, that it took something big (our friend's wedding) to get us to Jamaica... and that it will take something bigger to get us back to the sweaty, hot, sticky, humid, godforsaken island where white girls can't look pretty.
It was rather like living on an episode of Lost, with the button-pushing and all.
9 comments:
O.K., I was prepared to not respond to the "I hate Jamaica" blog entry, but I can't help myself. Firstly, perhaps you would have had a better experience if you stayed in a hotel that had air conditioning in operating condition (they do have those there you know). Secondly did you not go off the beaten path a bit and hang with the locals? I would guess not because if you did, you might find them to be peaceful, happy, and loving. Come on Tif, it's a beautiful island that should be judged more on it's karma and beauty (minus the intense poverty and emaciated animals of course) than how your hair and skin looks! Don't diss my island girl! ~Amy
Sorry - I'm with Tif. Since I've never been to Jamaica, only Puerto Rico and St Thomas, I will have to say the following, all-inclusive statement: Tropical islands are NOT all they are cracked up to be. They are hot, disgusting and not in any way romantic. How can you be romantic when you're sweating like a... well, I know don't know what... but it's just too damn hot! I tried St Thomas with a previous boyfriend... it SUCKED! Yes, true, part of that was directly related to the company I had - but I got burnt - BAD (and I actually tan well), I sweated until I was so dehydrated I thought I was going to die and I was not impressed with the food. Hot, humid and bad food - I'm outta there!
I should also say - for those of you that don't know me - I went to high school in SC and to Clemson and then I left. I went as far away as I could get at the time - CO. I hardly go back and visit my own family because it's too f--king hot.
Who IS this anonymous buzzkill? Jesus H. Fucking Christ On A Stick Dipped In Horshit.
I liked the post. there's such a thing as irony. This moron takes everything literally. oh my lord!
'Course what do I know. I post about black midgets.
i know it's going to be disgustingly hot down there next week and I can hardly wait! ;D
Amy- I know, I know, you and Jack love Jamaica. Just for you, I hated it so it can stay your favorite. I hung with plenty of locals (including 1/2 of the wedding party, who are Jamaican) and I remain stedfast that you can keep it. I'll keep looking.
Jules- Thank god my company was exquisite!
Matt- calm your shit down. That's one of my buds up there (and she signed her name, so technicall is not anonymous.) Now go hug your black midget.
Webmiztris- You go with your hot-weather loving self. I should stick to Alaska!
And Amy, you know that nothing is mor eimportant to me than how my hair and skin looks.
Well ya got my interest peaked with the girl on girl wrestling--ha ha
Have been in the room sharing situation and I so know what you mean about the "offering" to switch thing. I was always glad when no one else wanted to sleep on the roll away.
Funny stuff
See, now you said Alaska. And I spent a fantastic day floating the Talketna River in the rain with my wife and a guide in the wilderness. I'd do that again in a second. I doubt my hair and skin looked in party condition either. But i did float within 2 feet of a bald eagle baby on a tree branch, something I'll never forget.
CEO- the Talketna is beautiful. I love Alaska (my chosen home after PT school) and count anyone who has been there very very lucky. I'll take rain in AK over hot and sticky in Jamaica any day. Or at least until it's 50+ below zero.
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