Today I don't have much to do work-wise, so I took some time this morning to get some stuff done around the house. So far I have:

1) Started the dishwasher.
2) Started a load of clothes in the washer.
3) Vaccumed.
4) Made breakfast.
5) Hit myself in the face with a pan.

True story.

Don't be jealous.

I need help.

I'm on the Board of Directors of the not-for-profit organization Heartland Horse Heroes. Now, while I may not adore being on the board (because it turns out I'm not as good at the "details" part of the work), it's a good organization, and it serves a wonderful purpose. We provide therapeutic riding experiences for children and adults with physical, emotional, behavioral, and social disabilities... Or at least, we used to. Those faces up there? Those are students from our last riding session. Real human beings with real problems that were really in our program and really benefitted.

Two weeks ago we had to make the decision to cancel our spring session of lessons because we don't have enough money to finish the arena project that's 1/2 way done (what is done was donated), to bring the horses back (they're at their winter foster homes), or to sponsor any of the riders that can't afford the lessons. Thanks in no small part to the economy we haven't been able to find sponsors for the horses, the projects or the riders. We're getting nothing.

We're taking our last dollars and throwing a barn dance fundraiser in April. It's a start, but we're still going to be hard pressed to pull off the summer session. The panels we need for the arena cost $131 a pop, and we need 20+. We need $5000 to feed, vet, and shoe the horses (per session). I'm in charge of the silent auction at the barn dance, and it's been hard getting people to cough up items.

So, if you can, make a donation. Anything. If you have $5 to spare, we will put it to good use. If you are artistically inclined and can donate something to the auction, please contact me. More than anything, if you would, spread the word about what we're trying to do. Maybe someone, somewhere, is looking for a great project to donate to, and thanks to you, they'll find us.

*Update: Thanks to "Anonymous" for pointing out the all-important point that I failed to mention. We are a not-for-profit organization. 100% not for profit. There's not even a paid position anywhere within the organization. We have a tax ID number and everything, so donations of any variety are tax deductible.

Good God, it's been so long since I've written CL's kid probably has a job by now. So here's a smattering of stuff in no particular order...

• For Valentine's Day, PB got me a Samsung Pebble. It's an awesome little MP3 player that hangs from a cord around my neck and has integrated earphones coming out of the cord, so you don't have to worry about pulling them out of your ears or knocking the player off. It's cool. Anyway, I loaded some exercise tunes on it and headed to the gym. I rocked it out. Seriously, I was on fire. About 1/2 way through my workout I realized that NO ONE else in the world would buy my playlist. A sampling, you ask? Let's see... Toto, "Africa"; Paul Simon, "The First Thing I Remember"; Barry White, "Can't Get Enough of Your Love"; Eagle Eye Cherry, "Save Tonight"; Greatful Dead, "Touch of Gray"; Johnny Cash, "Ring of Fire"; KT Tunstall, "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree"; Me First and the Gimme Gimmes "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Don't you judge me.
• A while back Apple Crisp Julie over there (aka Suburban Zookeeper) wrote about having an electric blanket she puts on her bed during winter. This seemed like a great idea to me, so I ran right out and got one. And I love it. LOVE IT! (It has dual controls, so you can set each side of the bed differently.) I'm not usually cold at night, but I hate getting into bed when the sheets are cold. So about 30 minutes before it's time for bed I turn it on high and warm it up, then turn off the blanket and fade directly into dreamland. Sweet! The other night PB and I were in bed (don't worry Jackass, we weren't doing anything except lying still with all our clothes on, and Pooh King was lying between us ready to bite PB's weiner off if he got too close) and I reminded PB that the blanket was still on high. "I know, I know..." The next thing I know it's 5:30am, time to get up for the gym, and PB has the blanket over only his lower legs (and I promise, Jackass, he still had all his clothes on, and Pooh King was still on guard). "Did it get really hot in here last night?" Um, no, not unless you were under the molten lava blanket that you left on high all night. Sheesh.
• The other home health PT is a psychotic crazy bitch. Seriously. She went off on me on Monday for no reason at all. Went on and on about how I don't have enemies in the office, that she knows her job, that our boss is afraid of conflict, that there are office dynamics I have no clue about, and that I'm arrogant. You will be surprised to hear that I sat there slack-jawed, responded without anger, and let her storm out. I then told the boss that if it ever happened again I would come on her like a spider monkey, and learned that would be okay. There were witnesses.
• My obsession with fresh popcorn has returned with a vengance. In college I ate a lot of popcorn. A lot. Like I ate a big bowl of hot air popcorn at least 4 or 5 nights a week. Shortly after moving here I bought a stove top popcorn maker and barely ever used it. In the last month, I have been making popcorn at least 3 nights a week again. I usually crave sweets, not salty. Hmmmm.
• I bought new plates this week. I broke a corner off a few of the plates of my old set (that I loved) and took it as a sign it was time for new dishes. I invested in non-breakable Corelle so I don't have to worry about breaking them.
• George Jetson is finally at the doctor getting fixed. I'm driving a Chevy Cobalt in the meantime. It's the shittiest car ever, and I'm pretty sure it was in a flood. I can't wait to get George back.

Remember that dude, CL (aka: New Whipping Boy), who was my recruiter back in the day and lost the Rose Bowl even further back in the day and still stalks me on my blog?Well, guess who went and had productive sex? I'd like to announce the arrival of Abigail, who is beautiful (read as: looks just like her beautiful mama), smart and obviously gifted in twisting her daddy around her little finger.

When CL tells you "You have permission to post pictures on the blog if you want to," and you hadn't even asked yet, you should totally take that as "you'd better post pictures of my insanely gorgeous daughter and wife on your blog so they can be famous." He's already been accused of being "too protective" and smashing anything (people included) that upsets his child, so I'm not taking any chances.

Congratulations CL. You may have lost the Rose Bowl, but I think you just won something infinitely better!

We all saw this coming, right? Couldn't you imagine me running down the side of the highway chasing a stray dog and her puppy?

More time on the road means more time for spotting trouble. As I drove back to town from a patient's home, I saw a puppy in the middle of the road... not in a good way. A quick glance to the side showed me his mama and remaining sibling lying in the grass in the median. Mama had a heavy leather collar, sun-bleached and covered in mud. Puppy was round and fuzzy. I pulled off the road, whipped out the cheese stick I intended to have as a snack, and started to go about rescuing the dynamic duo. Just about that time, mama decided she didn't want to be rescued and hot-footed it over the road and down an embankment. Another lady stopped to help. Turns out she had seen the other puppy be hit and looped back to try to get hold of the others. We followed mama for about a half mile, down the embankment and into the brush. I kept chucking chunks of cheese at her, but she was less interested in the cheese than getting away from me. The puppy kept up with her, so in the end I had to give up on both. The other lady was going to come back later with dog food and see if she could get them to pay more attention than they did to the cheese stick. Mama was a little on the growly side, so I don't know if it will work, but I wish her the best of luck.

I talked to D4's insurance company today. The claim has been filed (D4 had left them a message on Sunday) and the adjuster will look at George on Tuesday or Wednesday. When the claims guy called he asked me to go over the accident details again I gave him the rundown. Afterward he said, "Well, it seems like a pretty straight-forward case."

"Actually, sir, it was kind of straight backward."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Geeze I crack myself up!!!!

Uh-oh, George...

Well, looks like George will be needing a little nip/tuck. I took Pooh King to play in the field at the barn. I wasn't there long when D4 and I went investigating fence lines.

D4: Which car should we drive down there? Do you want to take yours or mine?

TK: Doesn't matter to me.

D4: Let's take mine, it has more ground clearance.

TK: Okay.

So, Pooh King loaded up in the back, I jumped in the passenger seat, and D4 took the wheel. Instead of pulling straight out she decided to back up a bit. Yeah, you see where this is going, right?

TK: My car's back (crunch) there.

D4: (Lots of explatives) I hit your car!!! (Then I think she threw up in her mouth a little bit.)

Yep, poor George. In hindsight, maybe I should have yelled STOP!!! first. Of course D4 has good insurance coverage so tomorrow I'll set up some appointments for estimates. George should be good as new in no time.

So here's the thing about Noisy McSuckington. Not so noisy. In fact, I'm not sure it's really a vaccum at all. I think it's a toy. It's so light and quiet (especially compared to the last one) that I think it might be a PlaySchool toy. Seriously, if it weren't for all the dog hair and stuff in the collection bin I wouldn't think it was working at all.

My new job is great. I mean really, on Tuesday the office secretary cooked a turkey for lunch. On Wednesday she took the leftovers into homemade turkey soup. Today we had ice cream and cookies during our staff meeting. It rocks. The other PT is a bit of a control freak. Okay, she's a control freak bitch. But, I only see her for about 5 minutes a day so that's a bonus. Today at the staff meeting she freaked out and got super pissed because she didn't know they had given me a new patient and was trying to do all the work of putting the patient on the schedule that the secretary had already done. She actually had to leave the building she was so mad. Now, the secretary schedules the patients. It's her job. It's just that Dr. Con (the other PT) wanted to handle it all herself. Hmmmm, that's what happens when you have more than 1 PT. Just sayin'.

And now, Virginia snow. We woke up to it on Monday morning.

Pooh King loves him some snow.

So does George Jetson.

If you're sick for like, the eleventeenth day in a row but at least can finally eat (though you cough a LOT), it is okay to have for dinner:

a) a chili'n'cheese dog from Dairy Queen
b) popcorn
c) Nyquil and Mucinex DM
d) a big bag of shut the hell up and don't you judge me

It turns out if you suck up Pooh King's woobie (seen here being killed by Pooh King) you will definitely burn up your vaccum motor. Fast. Then you will have to figure out how to air out your stinkin' apartment, buy a new vaccum, and make dinner before you pass out.
This is my new vaccum... as yet to be named.

Proving once again that he will get inside anything, Otis levitated himself into the box. Oh yes, that's him mid-jump. Damn cat can get into a 3 foot tall, narrow vaccum cleaner box without knocking it over.


See? He was happy as a clam sitting in there. Then he jumped out. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of that.

Oh, and for all who asked, I am feeling better. I went to work today without any dire consequences, and I even got to eat a little bit of food. Emphasis on "a little bit" but hey, it was a start.

Weekend Update

I'm sick. Horribly sick. The kind of sick that keeps you within a 25 foot radius of the toilet.

End of update.

You are welcome.