Dansko, me love you long time!

I just lost an ENTIRE post. One that took an hour to write. Summonabitch!

Anyway, this is a more abbreviated, yet still enthusiastic rendition...

I went to work today and told my sad, sad story. SuperK pulled me to her side, patted me on the head, and said "I knew those shoes were too powerful for you. They changed the way you walk. They were too powerful. It was like they were the big leagues, and you're still playing in the bush league. Po' lil' fella." I re-enacted the whole event over and over, including the forward flip over the handlebars, the superman-style fall, and the sliding-into-home-plate position. I even pointed out how the position ruined my shoes. It was hysterical. My coworkers laughed and cried. My patients just laughed. I mostly just cried.

I checked my email for a Dansko response with an OCD-style precision a crack whore would have envied. I'm pretty sure "the man" is going to cut off my internet access tomorrow. It's not like I was surfing porn. This is all for the greater good of shoes. You'd think "the man" would understand, but only if "the man" is "the woman". Boys are dumb, throw rocks at them.

Then, it came. Like a gift from Shoe Heaven, my Dansko angel arrived.

Hi Tiffany,
That is not how Valentines Day was supposed to go! You're supposed to fall in love with your clogs and live happily ever after! That was my plan! Honest! All I wanted to do was ramble off into the sunset in my fuchsia Dansko Professional clogs!
Thanks for writing in with such an entertaining blog. aaaawww, shucks. I have to admit that you would be getting an email whether you wrote into us or not. Please don't take away my shoes for being stupid and committing shoe-murder. We pay close attention the blogs that mention Dansko, we love to hear from our fans and take your comments to heart. I should write about my shoes more often.

This morning I stumbled on your blog Whaaa? Didn't you get my form? and about half way through your story, I decided we had to contact you, something we normally don't do. It made me laugh and it made my cry me too, especially the crying part (those poor clogs!). Thank you for feeling my pain! It's more than Tire-boy did. I scrolled down to the bottom and saw that you already had contacted customer service! She read my blog before customer service got the form! Do you have some fuchsia shoe polish?

Talking to our CS Manager, I find out that practically the whole team has read your blog I am famous! and have been searching ever since for size 40 Fuchsia clogs. Cheese and rice! There is hope! Here's where I have to break the bad news uh-oh...… we stopped making the Fuchsia Latigo Professional and it has been impossible to get Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!, I was surprised in reading your blog that you found a pair. I guess some days the shoe gods smile upon me. They are very scarce and we have not been able to find one in a 40, yet. I do apologize for that. Thank you for trying. *wipes small tear from eye*
Now, this is where we attempt to save the day! Whaaaa??? Take a look at www.dansko.com and pick TWO pairs of shoes, O.M.G. Is this a joke? (quickly looks around to see if any cameras can be spotted, waves at heating vent just in case there's one hidden in there) Pick out a pair of clogs to replace the ones you lost in battle and then shop our other collections and pick a pair from those. Wait a minute... You're telling me that because I was stupid and rode my bike in my brand new fuchsia latigo Danskos and ruined them when I fell for a stupid boy (who didn't even care about the shoes), that you're going to give me TWO pairs of shoes? If you think our clogs are comfortable, wait until you get into our other collections! We have some very cute styles for Spring. I've looked at the site, people. My head almost exploded. Picking two is going to take a while! My flinstone feet are going to L-O-V-E me!
Thanks for taking time to tell your story and write in to us.
I hope we can get you back into Dansko asap! I heart Dansko.

In clogs we trust, Amen.

LeAnne (from here on to be known as My Dansko Angel.)
PS - I like John Denver too. Shhhhh I won't tell, but I'm totally putting it on the blog.

This email came just after lunch. My favorite patient, Mr. E, was pedaling away on the bike getting warmed up before his reassessment. I literally ran, screaming "aaaah-aaaaah-aaaaah-aaaaah" from my office, through the gym, past Mr. E, into the lunch room. I made everyone run back to the office so they could read the letter. They screamed. We linked arms and jumped up and down in a big circle. Well, it wasn't quite that jubilent, but we were all pretty darn giddy. No one quite believed it, so I kept pinching them to show them it was real.

Did you get all that? There is a company out there who keeps their finger on the pulse of public opinion, is concerned with the quality of their product, is compassionate toward a girl who should wear a helmet at all times, and provides excellent customer service. As a bonus, they happen to sell shoes. Good shoes. Fun shoes. Shoes that make my Bedrock-Babies sing at the end of the day as though they had just gotten started. It's unbelievable, really. Now, if I can only get them to bring fuchsia back.

I now worship at the foot of Dansko.

Get it? Do you get it? The "foot" of Dansko? Ba-da-bump!!!! Seriously, is this thing on?