I desperately need my hair did, but I may pull it all out in short order, so what's the point?  I've been fighting with my printer all week, and was finally able to fool it into doing it what I want it to do tonight, only to have that bitch run out of ink before I could finish the task at hand.  Son of a bitch.  Fucker.  There's a whole list of expletives I ran around the house yelling just a few moments ago, but the ones I've written already will keep my mother from reading this post out loud to my Gram, which is really enough for now. 

So tomorrow I've got to go get another ink cartridge so I can finish printing the labels that need to be redone so I can finish the envelopes that aren't yet finished.  Then wa-la, the invitations are done.  Oh, wait, except I need a sponge to moisten the seals with so they can be sealed since YOU PEOPLE ARE FREAKS and watch waaaaaaaaay too much Seinfeld.  I can't begin to tell you how many people have warned me not to lick the envelopes or I might die of envelope poisoning just like George Costanza's fiance did. 

Yep, and Murphy Brown was a fictional character, too, Mr. Quayle.

I shit you not.

I saw Sister Hazel last night!  Whoo hoo!  Then Ken Block (the lead singer) waited around to meet me after the show.  See how happy he is?  Just like a puppy.

 

Then I realized that this guy was also waiting around to meet me, so PB and I ran like hell.  I mean, who lets crazy stalker people in to Sister Hazel concerts anyway?

"But what about the mosquitoes?"

So, I had to have my wedding band custom made.  It's not fancy.  In fact, it's quite plain, but it had to be custom fit around the bottom of my engagement ring.  It turns out it's not so easy to find an actual jeweler anymore.  Lots of jewelery stores, not so many jewelers.  So after a solid hunt, we found a tiny shop in Lynchburg that's part pawn shop, part custom jewelery shop.  Interesting mix to say the least.

PB was going to pick it up before he and his buddy went to a boxing match, but ran out of time (they were being bussed to Baltimore, which is a story unto itself).  So I trucked off to Lynchburg to pick up my rings, because I didn't want to be without my engagement ring until this coming Thursday.  I picked up the ring, then decided to head off to Ollie's, the local bargain warehouse.  Ollie's goes around and buys closeout lots of stuff, overstocks, last season's leftovers, etc, etc.  You never know what you're going to find at Ollie's!  I figured there might be something great for the wedding waiting for me.  I wasn't really sure what it might be, and I wasn't looking for anything in particular, which is always the best set of expectations to have when you go to Ollie's.

The most common question that's been asked about the wedding since we found our fabulous location (see below) has been "What are you going to do about the mosquitoes?"  Well, I've decided that the official perfume of our wedding will be Deep Woods Off.  We'll put a pretty little peach bow on each bottle and douse each guest on their way in.  Problem solved.  Now quit whining.

Well, good thing I walked into Ollie's yesterday!  'Cause guess what I found, my peeps!  Ollie's had just started bringing out all their spring/summer gardening and yard stuff.  And right there, before my very eyes, were 3-packs of mason jar sized citronella candles.  And those citronella candles are in little tin buckets.  And those little tin buckets are painted.  And those little tin buckets are painted in 3 colors.  And those 3 colors are:

peach, cream, and sage.

The 3 colors of my wedding.

I bought every last f*cking package they had.  For $1.99 a package.  I think I have more candles than I have people coming to the wedding!  But now there are NO MOSQUITOES coming to the wedding.  And no Deep Woods Off smell on me!  Whoo hoo!

How you'll get to my wedding...

First turn here...

Then drive past this...

Then keep going past this... No, you may not pose for pictures on the steps!  And no, I will not be doing bridal portraits on whatever is under the tarp.  Maybe.  Probably.  No.  Definitely no.  Unless there's tequila.  Then yes.

And make sure you wave to my brother-in-law as you pass the deer stand on the right.  'Cause you know The Trucker's going to be aiming at something from up there.  Let's keep it away from the road, big guy.  Away from the road.

But when you've passed all that, you'll get to this...

Wanna come to our party?

Once you get here, the party begins!!!

Here I was, all set and ready to write a funny blog about becoming a vomit-magnet yesterday, and realized that the computer says it's 8:30.  8:30?  How could that be?  The Force woke us up at 6:40, and thankfully, not by throwing up on me again.  But now I don't have time to tell the details before I go meet Spellbound for brunch and my wedding cakes consultation.  No, that's not a typo.  I wrote cakes.  'Cause I'm a diva like that.

Check back for the full story, my peeps.

Feed someone who's hungry.

Just do it.  Thanks Sis B!

I would write a whole post, but my head is going to explode, and I may throw up.  I hate migraines.

Da Mama came to visit, and ust as expected, she put the wedding planning into overdrive.  We found the perfect wedding dress.  (And I do mean perfect!!!)  I have invitations (though still no exact destination to which anyone can be invited), and lots of other details have been laid.  It is coming along.

Oh, but my photographer may be in Far, Far Away, instead of at my wedding. Guess we'll be looking for a backup, huh?