Hey 'mon!

Here I am!!!

I'm exhausted, so tonight it's just a recap of the return from Jamaica. I promise that I'll start posting pics and stories tomorrow.

So I rode with a whole bus full of the wedding crew back to the Montego Bay airport on Monday. It's about a 1 1/2 hour trip from Negril. The ride was good, if not a bit curvy. Some of us arrived feeling a little green around the gills.

No problem getting the bag checked, doing a quick spot of duty free shopping, and grabbing a patty (Jamaican food stuff) to eat prior to boarding. Flight was easy. Got into Ft. Lauterdale (totally don't think I just spelled that right) and had to go through customs and immigration before hitting the connection.

Of course, nothing goes easily from here on out. Going through Immigration took about an hour and 15 minutes (I had 1:45 between flights.) During this time I had plenty of time to realize I had left my cell phone in the safe at the hotel. After Immigration, Spirit bag in the impossible-to-find area, and by the time their own agent locates it at Platform 9 and 3/4, I'm behind 100+ people waiting to go through Customs. I repeatedly asked the agent to help me to the front of the line, or call the gate agent and let them know I was coming, only to hear "Mam, there's nothing I can do to help you." I mean really, a MAM??? If anything, I'm a freshie, or so say the rastas!

Enter my angels of kick-ass-mercy. My plane had been boarding for 15 minutes and was due to pull out in 10. A group of hispanic New York women pulvarized that poor agent on my behalf. I was swiftly moved to the front of the line and told to take my bag (that was supposed to be rechecked) straight to the gate for a plane-side check-in. I think this was mostly in an effort to shut my angels of kick-ass-mercy up. Through a comedy of errors that includes me running through the damn airport concourse OJ Simpson style (pre- glove era) I make it onto the plane about 60 seconds before they close the door and push back.

I got to Reagan National in D.C. not even caring if my freakin' bag made it on the plane. My only concern was that Tough Lucy Dodge would still be in the economy parking lot, and would start. By the way, it's 10pm at this point. Oh, sure, TLD start up just fine. The only problem is that her back right tire is flat. Nice. Did I mention that it was cold (thank god) and drizzling? So the attendant guy helps me use a portable compressor to get enough air in the tire to get me to the gas station where I can fill it the rest of the way up. (I have a slow leak in that tire.) I checked the tire about every 45 minutes on the trip home to make sure I wasn't losing it.

By the time I got home I was just beat. The dog was wiggly and oh-so-glad I was home, the cat came out of hiding finally (only 2 spottings by the neighbors while I was gone.) I tried to sleep, which is hard to do with a 75 pound dog trying to keep in constant body contact with you, and a cat who thinks the best way to prevent being left again is to sleep on your head.

Now, I've known that I needed new tires for about a month, but was just putting off getting them as long as possible. Today TLD got 4 brand-spankin' new tires. No more flats for me!

Coming soon to a blog near you... (okay, really it's just this blog)

• Yes, Rent-a-rasta is a man-whore situation that smells like pot.
• PUSH THE BUTTON!!!
• How I learned to open a beer bottle with a water bottle
• and many more that will have to be edited prior to publishing

Good night all!