Holy shitballs, Batman, what a day I had. When PB got here I asked him if he wanted to hear it from beginning to end or end to beginning. He chose end to beginning because that was cool like "Pulp Fiction". Truth be told, it was really hard to remember it that way and do it right, so you're just going to get it straight. I'll start from the beginning and stop when I'm finished.

I knew it would be a busy day from the get go, but Mondays usually are, so big whoop. My first patient did awesome, and that really was very exciting for me. My second patient has a new hip, and we were working on walking outside with a cane. About the time I saw a dead cat on the side of the road, she saw the cat's kittens hiding in the bushes in her front yard. Nuts. The kittens are about 3 weeks old. See TK and her total hip patient jump into action. Seriously, that woman helped me herd cats! After a solid effort we were only able to catch 2 out of 3, but she and her sister were going to keep working on the 3rd. So off I went with the 2 kittens in a box. Next stop? Evil Wal-Mart, of course! Armed with some kitten supplies and a carrier, we were in gear again.

I got to the next patient's house and got right to work. 'Round about the time I was using my box cutter to cut tennis balls to put on the rear legs of the walker, the blade slipped and sliced my thumb open. Nice. Blood spurted all over, but mostly ran down my arm and all over my pants. I grabbed my thumb and ran to the sink and flushed it with water. Of course, there were no paper towels, and I didn't have any wound care supplies handy, so I got to staunch the bleeding with toilet paper. Sweet. I finished that guy's visit and got to go back to WalMart for BandAids and a new pair of pants, lest my next patient think I murdered the last.

My next patient had gotten too tired to do anything so took a pass on his visit, so I moved on to the last. When I got there she told me she didn't feel too well and had been "wobbly" and falling asleep every time she sat down. I checked her vital signs and everything was stable. The longer I sat there the worse she felt. Finally I offered to call EMS, but she elected to call her son instead, and off she went to the Emergency Room with him.

I got back to Farmville and hit up Tractor Supply for their last can of Milk Replacement Formula for kittens and got to feeding my new house guests. I have a girl, Visa, that is tabby and white, and a boy, Dorito or Cheeto (undecided), that is orange (duh). Visa got her name because she was crazy bold and instead of running, she charged! Now that she's been handled though, she's loving the love and just wants to keep getting some snuggling. The boy? He's a little crunchy, but I'm sure he'll get there.

Now I need to go finish my patients' notes for the day. How exactly do you convince Medicare that cat herding is a therapeutic treatment?