So, it turns out I have some unruly veins. Since I was 16 I've had little spider veins. As I've aged (and grown) the veins have progressed to the point where I have lots of spidery ones, and a few big fatties. I know. Hot. I am one sexy bitch.

About a year ago, the veins started to make my legs hurt. It has progressed to the point that I finally agreed to go see a vein specialist to see what could be done. The good news? I have some fat-ass veins in my legs that aren't doing their job well, but they can be closed down so the functional veins will be forced to handle the blood on its way back to my heart. Imagine, incompetent veins. I mean, seriously, they've had 33 years of practice. They should only be getting better! But I digress... It turns out getting your veins lasered shut is not as pleasant as it sounds. Tonight I'm laying around in my compression sock feeling like I've been stung by 113 bees. And the best news? In 2 weeks I get to go back and do the other leg. And the cost? Oh yea, that part. Turns out insurance companies don't think that pain is a good reason to shut them down, so it's considered a cosmetic procedure and they won't pay to fix them. Seriously, I've lived with them for more than half of my life at this point, it's not that big a deal. So, it cost $ohmygodIcan'tbelieveyoumakethatmuchmoneyin20minutes. Seriously. I should have been big into veins.

That's right. I'm bringing sexy back to orthopedic hosiery.